Dr. Lena Agree, JD, PsyD – Licensed Psychologist and AssociatesDr. Lena Agree, JD, PsyD – Licensed Psychologist and Associates

Lena Agree JD, PsyD

The False Promise of Forgiveness

The False Promise of Forgiveness

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People often come to my office wishing to forgive someone, but feeling unsettled because despite their efforts, it hasn’t happened, and they are frustrated and confused. Their distress over forgiveness often brings to mind my favorite quote on the subject: My frame of mind is most peaceful. My wishes are: a modest hut, a thatched roof, but a good bed, good food, milk and butter – very fresh, flowers in front of my window, beautiful trees outside my door and if the good Lord wishes to make me completely happy, he lets me have the joy of seeing hanged on those trees about six or seven of my enemies. Deeply moved, I shall forgive them before they die, all the…

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What is Great Sex (Part 2)

What is Great Sex (Part 2)

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In Part 1 of this article, I reviewed a study of individuals who characterized their sex lives as “great.” [1] In that study, researchers interviewed SM practitioners, people over age 65 in long-term relationships, and professional sex therapists. They then extrapolated from their descriptions six components of optimal sex. Part 1 of this article examined the first three: Presence, Authenticity and Intense emotional connection. Here I discuss the remaining three: Sexual and Erotic intimacy, Communication and Transcendence. As in Part 1, the following italicized descriptions are excerpts from the study (numbered headings are mine).             Participants spoke about the importance of a deep sense of caring for one another, regardless of the duration of the relationship; getting to know the…

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What is great sex? (Part 1)

What is great sex? (Part 1)

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I have a question for you . . . . .       Can you recall the best sex you ever had? What made it great? Chances are it wasn’t the technique you read in Cosmo or GQ. It was likely something less tangible – perhaps indescribable. The definition of great sex has been largely ignored by the scientific community. However, one study stands out as a conscientious attempt to explore this important topic.[1] In it, researchers interviewed 3 divergent groups of people, all of whom characterized their sex lives as “great”: (a) SM practitioners (people who practice consensual sexual bondage, domination, sadism and masochism), (b) Individuals over age 65 in long-term relationships, and (c) Sex therapists. Despite obvious differences…

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