Virtual couples therapy offers flexible, accessible support tailored to busy lifestyles, enhancing communication and progress by allowing sessions from any location with specialized therapists and interactive tools.
Read More
Many people wonder whether they need therapy, coaching, or both, and how to tell the difference in practical terms. This article defines therapy and coaching, explains how each approach works, and gives clear, actionable guidance for choosing the right service for your goals. Readers will learn the core mechanisms behind attachment- and mentalization-based therapy, the structure and outcomes typical of life and personal coaching, and how these services can be integrated for lasting change. The piece also walks through what to expect in a first therapy session, offers checklists for interviewing providers, and explains concierge-style care options as they relate to local decision-making in Birmingham, MI. Throughout, the content uses evidence-based explanations, semantic clarity (entity → relationship → entity statements),…
Read More
If you struggle with feelings of depression, flatness, anxiety, anger, or other unpleasant symptoms, you have your attachment system to blame. Attachment is an innate, unconscious system that tells you from infancy, that you must stay close to your your parents because you need them to protect you from physical danger, illness and overwhelming emotional distress (Bowlby 1988). This is what makes little kids cling to their moms in public places. They just know, “Mom keeps me alive.” This isn’t learned behavior; it’s more like an instinct. It gets “turned on” in response to real or perceived threats to your survival and well-being, such as when you’re tired, hungry, or frightened, or separated from your parents. The problem is, it…
Read More
If you’ve been struggling with symptoms of anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns, you may have tried to diagnose yourself in an effort to understand what’s going on. This can be helpful, but it doesn’t help you understand why you feel this way. In the realm of mental health, a diagnosis fails to provide enough information and can even be misleading. Psychiatric diagnoses are labels determined by a list of symptoms that are mostly behavioral, meaning, they describe things you’re doing or not doing (like sleeping, or eating). Most diagnoses require a threshold number of symptoms, such as four out of nine. This means a single diagnosis can encompass many – even dozens – of different experiences (American Psychiatric…
Read More
Most people describe their childhood as “normal.” We tend to normalize our own childhood because it’s the only one we had, and we truly want to have a loving relationship with our parents. However, that wish can be so powerful that it clouds our memory and our vision, making it difficult to see our parents clearly and objectively. So, if you are an adult who is depressed or anxious, how do you know if your relationship with your parents has something to do with it? You may or may not have negative memories of your parents from childhood. But how can you tell if your current relationship with them is healthy or “normal”? How would you know if your desire…
Read More
Try this experiment: Place your full attention on something sexual for several minutes and then think about it for a little while. Afterwards, take notice if you seem to be more talkative. New research cited in a recent article by Elizabeth Bernstein says you will be. And, notably, it suggests that you will also be more inclined to reveal aspects of yourself to those with whom you converse. Apparently, thinking about sex motivates us to seek connection with others by making us chattier about ourselves. The cycle of emotional intimacy According to Dr. Birnbaum, the studies’ lead researcher, “Thinking about sex starts a positive cycle of emotional intimacy: When you think about sex and then disclose personal information, the other person likes you more. If the attraction…
Read More
For 20 years Prince Harry, the late Princess Diana’s younger son, tried to ignore the overwhelming emotions he experienced as a result of his mother’s death. Neither heavy partying, nor active military service in Afghanistan could help him contain his feelings. As he describes, “After 20 years of not thinking about it and 2 years of total chaos,” he finally sought therapy. It helped him so much, that he and his family embarked on a campaign to promote therapy in England (#Headstogether). This video clip briefly recounts his experience.
Read More
Your child’s brain grows until about age 25. During the teenage years, the brain undergoes vast neurological changes. Parenting teenagers through this storm of dramatic mood swings and behavior shifts may sometimes seem impossible. The good news is you don’t have to be an expert. If you take an active interest in your teen’s mental experience, and seek to understand him with sensitivity and genuine curiosity, you will maintain access to his internal world while contributing to his emotional resilience. Engage, empathize, investigate Perhaps the most important step you can take when you notice distress in your child is to stop what you are doing, give her your full attention, and empathize with her feelings. (This does not require you to agree with the reasons, or even fully understand…
Read More
Do you suspect that a man in your life may be depressed? Unlike women, who are often sad or weepy when depressed, men typically exhibit anger, irritability or complain of “stress.” This is in addition to other depressive symptoms, including loss of interest or pleasure; either sluggishness or agitation; change in sleep, appetite or concentration; feelings of guilt or worthlessness and recurrent thoughts of death. Five or more of these symptoms for 2 consecutive weeks could signal a depressive disorder. However, depressive symptoms aren’t limited to the bouts of moodiness described above. Some people have a “depressive personality,” which can manifest early in life and just kind of “simmer.” There are 2 subtypes of this form of depression: Introjectively depressed people…
Read More
People often come to my office wishing to forgive someone, but feeling unsettled because despite their efforts, it hasn’t happened, and they are frustrated and confused. Their distress over forgiveness often brings to mind my favorite quote on the subject: My frame of mind is most peaceful. My wishes are: a modest hut, a thatched roof, but a good bed, good food, milk and butter – very fresh, flowers in front of my window, beautiful trees outside my door and if the good Lord wishes to make me completely happy, he lets me have the joy of seeing hanged on those trees about six or seven of my enemies. Deeply moved, I shall forgive them before they die, all the…
Read More