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Dr. Lena Agree’s Expert Relationship & Intimacy Advice

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Quick Navigation: Therapy Services & ResourcesEffective Communication Tips for Couples to Improve Relationships and Build Emotional Intimacy

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Effective communication in a relationship means more than exchanging information; it creates emotional safety, clarifies needs, and supports lasting intimacy. When partners communicate effectively, they reduce distance, solve problems with less escalation, and strengthen trust through consistent repair attempts and mutual understanding. This article teaches practical communication skills — active listening, “I” statements, conflict resolution strategies, and empathy exercises — and explains why these techniques work using attachment, mentalization, and behavioral principles. Readers will find step-by-step how-to guidance, quick self-assessments to identify communication styles, and tools to build daily rituals that increase emotional intimacy. The following sections map the path: core principles and a compact EAV summary, methods to identify and shift styles, concrete active listening practices, “I” statement templates,…

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What is Great Sex (Part 2)

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In Part 1 of this article, I reviewed a study of individuals who characterized their sex lives as “great.” [1] In that study, researchers interviewed SM practitioners, people over age 65 in long-term relationships, and professional sex therapists. They then extrapolated from their descriptions six components of optimal sex. Part 1 of this article examined the first three: Presence, Authenticity and Intense emotional connection. Here I discuss the remaining three: Sexual and Erotic intimacy, Communication and Transcendence. As in Part 1, the following italicized descriptions are excerpts from the study (numbered headings are mine).             Participants spoke about the importance of a deep sense of caring for one another, regardless of the duration of the relationship; getting to know the…

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What is great sex? (Part 1)

What is great sex? (Part 1)

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I have a question for you . . . . .       Can you recall the best sex you ever had? What made it great? Chances are it wasn’t the technique you read in Cosmo or GQ. It was likely something less tangible – perhaps indescribable. The definition of great sex has been largely ignored by the scientific community. However, one study stands out as a conscientious attempt to explore this important topic.[1] In it, researchers interviewed 3 divergent groups of people, all of whom characterized their sex lives as “great”: (a) SM practitioners (people who practice consensual sexual bondage, domination, sadism and masochism), (b) Individuals over age 65 in long-term relationships, and (c) Sex therapists. Despite obvious differences…

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