FAQ’s
The therapeutic relationship is unlike any other. It can be extraordinary, but also somewhat mysterious. You may have expectations, or hopes for change, but also no idea whether therapy, or Dr. Agree, is right for you. Below are answers to common questions that may help demystify the process of therapy, Dr. Agree’s perspective, as well as some practical considerations
You may ask
This is a “come as you are” environment – no preparation required. We’ll send you an intake form to complete prior to your first session, and this will help you solidify some of the reasons you’re seeking therapy and what you think you’d like to achieve. But if it’s not clear, or you’re not sure about something, don’t worry – we’ll ask you questions that will give us an understanding of what you’re looking for and how we can help.
Our sessions are typically 45 minutes. However, some of our patients prefer 60 or 90-minute sessions. The duration of your sessions is up to you, and you can change the duration as you go. If you’d like a longer session, no problem! Just talk to us about it and we’ll be happy to accommodate you.
We generally see patients once a week.
We recommend against coming less frequently than once a week. The biggest reason is that the real benefits of therapy occur because of the relationship that builds between therapist and patient. The therapeutic relationship is, potentially, the most intimate connection you can have with someone, because ideally, over time it becomes a truly emotionally secure relationship with “no strings attached.” However, creating this kind of relationship requires frequent contact. Dr. Agree has found that with patients who come less frequently than once a week, the emotional distance is never closed, the therapist remains an “acquaintance,” and no meaningful change occurs. If cost is an issue it’s better to come weekly for a shorter time, than diluting it over a longer period.
There is no problem too small for therapy, because it’s not really about the “problem.” It’s about what is making the problem so difficult to resolve on your own. That is the real problem, and that is what we’ll explore with you.
There are many reasons why you may not be comfortable with your therapist during the first session. The first question you should ask yourself is whether you think the therapist has the skills to help you. If the answer is a solid “no,” then you should probably find someone else. If the answer is “yes” or you’re not sure, a second visit is probably warranted. During that visit, you should tell your therapist exactly what your impressions and concerns are, because doing that will make you stronger (and you might as well benefit from the relationship, even if brief!).
This is also a good litmus test of the relationship: How does the therapist handle your questions and concerns? Do you feel heard and understood after the discussion? You are giving the therapist a tremendous opportunity to reset the relationship on a more positive footing, establish credibility and start to build trust with you. So, if you feel good about it after this meeting then therapy with this person is worth pursuing. If you don’t feel any better, or if you feel misunderstood or invalidated, then you might look for a different therapist. If you experience this with one of our therapists, please contact Dr. Agree, and she will help you navigate the issue.
People often report an initial spike in feelings of relief and well-being within the first few months. Then it may level-off for a period. With long-term therapy, progress tends to occur in periodic leaps. As you get stronger, you start to make micro-changes in your mind and in your behavior, which accumulate over time. Then, all the sudden, you realize that you handled something better than before, didn’t get upset over something that used to bother you, or stood up for yourself in a new way.
This process keeps repeating as you take more risks and make braver decisions, getting stronger every time. You do this until you feel ready to stop. We don’t decide when you’re done – you do. But we’re always happy to talk about your progress, or frustrations with it. Being able to discuss these things with your therapist is a vital element of effective therapy.
Feel free to contact her.